Unfortunately, the Spatial Cyclops is one of the most common
species of commuter, causing irritation and confusion amongst hundreds of
normal travellers every day. This specimen likes to walk in a particular
direction with a sense of purpose, only to suddenly stop in their tracks or
change direction without looking first, or giving any indication of their
intentions. They have absolutely no sense of where they are and that there are
dozens of people behind them who will also have to stop abruptly to avoid
walking into them. This causes a chain reaction all the way down and can be catastrophic.
 |
| The Spatial Cyclops |
Our studies have led us to believe that no person can be
that unaware, which is why there must be some sort of small special gremlin
involved that jumps onto its host and forces them to make absolutely terrible decisions
when walking around on the underground. We have not yet spotted this gremlin for ourselves,
but I have personally written to Major Boris Johnson about this issue. I await
his response.
If you suspect that a Spatial Cyclops is up ahead, keep your
distance and be ready to change direction or stop within a split second. They
are unpredictable.
Habitat – Tunnels, walkways and escalators
Special Skills – Having no idea where they are, stopping
suddenly, changing directions, causing people to trip up, being very annoying
Weaknesses – Unknown. Their lack of awareness makes them
very resistant to any type of herding.
No comments:
Post a Comment